TMI Filter

A TMI filter is desperately needed in the world:

I work in a company that is all about customers and their personal issues and the things they will confide in over the phone, in their anonymity.

Some of my favorites phone calls:

1) My husband is having an affair and if I don't lose weight he will leave me for good.

2) I like large women, and there are two I am in a relationship with. There is nothing better than being in bed with them together, but I am concerned for their health. What would you consider too large?

3) I have Syndrome X and Disease Y and because of the medication I am on, I can't eat certain foods because they give me the runs. Oh, and sometimes my urine burns.

4) Yes, I am looking to start a diet plan of some kind and, oh, hold on a moment - [person then takes the phone away from their mouth and begins screaming BLOODY murder and all kind of heinous threats and inappropriate things at her child in the other room and then returns, sweet as candy to the phone] - sorry about that, sometimes that kid makes me --- Goddamnit you little bastard!!! *click*

That last call made me wish I could have gotten her address and called the authorities in quickly. I watched the news for her for a few days.

And their are always assorted nose blowings, chunky burps, and toilet flushings that have always made me glad to be on the other end of the phone. Urp, indeed.