The Ownership of Prayer

Hot. Sticky. Bleh.

Feeling angry last night and today. No reason in particular. Just angry. Then I get angry because I feel angry.

Came directly home from work and soaked in the hottest tub o' bubbles. Then did a whole scrub and mud mask thing trying to purge the mood. Alleviated it just a mite.

Up at 5:30am today - laundry, library, etc.

Thinking things - reading THE CONFESSIONS OF NAT TURNER. It's moving my mind, a little. The whole slavery thing repulses me - a feeling like turning inside-out. The reasoning logics laid by the white characters in the book as to why this institution was noble, and should remain intact, are amazing. How thoroughly we delude ourselves with the things that surround us. Comfort and laziness easily domineer a sense of right.

I have reached a point in the book at which the author points directly at Christianity as the base cause of so much that mangles society's best and brightest. It's a thought that is in my mind frequently - how much blind acceptance, and some words in a very thick, very old book written by mere men leads to so many of the most hateful acts against other people. Even others who believe in these doctrines just the same.

It boggles my mind. And then I was attacked the other day for saying to someone who is in a tough strait, "I'll keep you in my prayers."

You see, sirs, I am no Christian. Not even of the lowest demeanor.

And apparently there is a patent application longstanding that is pending to place the term "PRAYER" safely under the protection of its inventors: Christians.

I await the receipt of my cease & desist order. Until then I pray as I please.

And in Nat Turner, the character Gray brought this to a fine point to me this morning. He has been Nat's confessor prior to the trial. Nat's faith in the Bible gave him the conviction to begin his rebellion and uprising. He illustrates the galaxy, which is truly bigger than most minds can really wrap themselves around.

"Fancy that! Millions and even billions of stars all floatin' around in the vastness of space, separated by distances the mind can't even conceive of. Why, Reverend, the light we see from some of these stars must of left years before man hisself ever dwelt on earth! A millions years before Jesus Christ! How do you square that with your Christianity? How do you square that with God?"

Careful now, think before you answer.