We are not terrible enough
To qualify for godhood.
Maybe for minor demons
we could pass...
As we go our bad proliferates:
A willingness to
Drink entire oceans,
Push under entire lands.
Prerequisites to the trade:
Letting in a little good -
Mercy versus a change of mind.
So, divinity evades.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Sunday, April 11, 2004
Queen for a Day... or Two
If I were Queen... I would smite some folks - and verily.
> The hands-free headset in-duh-viduals. They who wear their hands-free "safe as houses" headsets while they drive - but still, they are holding the cellphone in one hand as if it were a communicator pad or they're triangulating. Use headset. Place phone in lap. Hands on wheel. Drive. Talk. Stop it!
I've had some weird moments in stores standing next to someone who bursts into laughter or asks a question out loud -- the first thing I look for is that wire snaking from their ear into a pocket.
> "My kingdom for your cracker!" Yesterday a woman zigged into my lane and I into the shoulder lane. Then she zagged back into her own lane and then slightly back my way again. She was reaching for something in the passenger seat. As I drew up next to her, it was to see that she was wrestling with a sleeve of saltines to get a cracker free to munch on.
Your life - ahem - my life is worth a cracker?!
Let the smoting begin.
> The hands-free headset in-duh-viduals. They who wear their hands-free "safe as houses" headsets while they drive - but still, they are holding the cellphone in one hand as if it were a communicator pad or they're triangulating. Use headset. Place phone in lap. Hands on wheel. Drive. Talk. Stop it!
I've had some weird moments in stores standing next to someone who bursts into laughter or asks a question out loud -- the first thing I look for is that wire snaking from their ear into a pocket.
> "My kingdom for your cracker!" Yesterday a woman zigged into my lane and I into the shoulder lane. Then she zagged back into her own lane and then slightly back my way again. She was reaching for something in the passenger seat. As I drew up next to her, it was to see that she was wrestling with a sleeve of saltines to get a cracker free to munch on.
Your life - ahem - my life is worth a cracker?!
Let the smoting begin.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Defense of Marriage
As for the Defense of Marriage - what the heck are people thinking anymore? It's all very separate - your state can approve/disapprove your legal union; your church can approve/disapprove your spiritual union. You make your choices accordingly - pick your church; vote your state into your way of thinking. In theory - right? In a Democracy - right?
A friend sent this to me today - and I thought I'd add it here:
*Ronald Reagan - divorced the mother of two of his children to marry Nancy Reagan who bore him a daughter only 7 months after the marriage.
*Bob Dole - divorced the mother of his child, who had nursed him through the long recovery from his war wounds.
*Newt Gingrich - divorced his wife who was dying of cancer.
*Dick Armey - House Majority Leader - divorced
*Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas - divorced
*Gov. John Engler of Michigan - divorced
*Gov. Pete Wilson of California - divorced
*George Will - divorced
*Sen. Lauch Faircloth - divorced
*Rush Limbaugh - Rush and his current wife Marta have six marriages and four divorces between them.
*Rep. Bob Barr of Georgia - Barr, not yet 50 years old, has been married three times. Barr had the audacity to author and push the "Defense of Marriage Act." The current joke making the rounds on Capitol Hill is "BobBarr...WHICH marriage are you defending?!?
*Sen. Alfonse D'Amato of New York - divorced
*Sen. John Warner of Virginia - divorced (once married to Liz Taylor.)
*Gov. George Allen of Virginia - divorced
*Henry Kissinger - divorced
*Rep. Helen Chenoweth of Idaho - divorced
*Sen. John McCain of Arizonia - divorced
*Rep. John Kasich of Ohio - divorced
*Rep. Susan Molinari of New York - Republican National Convention Keynote Speaker - divorced
I may not be the marryin' kind - I like it out there on the open prairie (?) - but if I wanted to marry one day or form a legal union with a consenting partner - WHY DOES IT FRIGGIN' MATTER TO ANYONE ELSE?
A friend sent this to me today - and I thought I'd add it here:
*Ronald Reagan - divorced the mother of two of his children to marry Nancy Reagan who bore him a daughter only 7 months after the marriage.
*Bob Dole - divorced the mother of his child, who had nursed him through the long recovery from his war wounds.
*Newt Gingrich - divorced his wife who was dying of cancer.
*Dick Armey - House Majority Leader - divorced
*Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas - divorced
*Gov. John Engler of Michigan - divorced
*Gov. Pete Wilson of California - divorced
*George Will - divorced
*Sen. Lauch Faircloth - divorced
*Rush Limbaugh - Rush and his current wife Marta have six marriages and four divorces between them.
*Rep. Bob Barr of Georgia - Barr, not yet 50 years old, has been married three times. Barr had the audacity to author and push the "Defense of Marriage Act." The current joke making the rounds on Capitol Hill is "BobBarr...WHICH marriage are you defending?!?
*Sen. Alfonse D'Amato of New York - divorced
*Sen. John Warner of Virginia - divorced (once married to Liz Taylor.)
*Gov. George Allen of Virginia - divorced
*Henry Kissinger - divorced
*Rep. Helen Chenoweth of Idaho - divorced
*Sen. John McCain of Arizonia - divorced
*Rep. John Kasich of Ohio - divorced
*Rep. Susan Molinari of New York - Republican National Convention Keynote Speaker - divorced
I may not be the marryin' kind - I like it out there on the open prairie (?) - but if I wanted to marry one day or form a legal union with a consenting partner - WHY DOES IT FRIGGIN' MATTER TO ANYONE ELSE?
Monday, March 01, 2004
In The Neck
I am in the neck
from my last life
of wide horizons
into my next
it being endless
in its possibilities.
I am in the neck
pressure building
toward an awaited spasm
an excruciating anticipation
of future, of fear
of the letting go.
I am in the neck
much like other
pinches of past
and premonition
I will recall
the width and hours
my mark will be left
my skull reshaped
inside & out - reborn
into my next tenure.
from my last life
of wide horizons
into my next
it being endless
in its possibilities.
I am in the neck
pressure building
toward an awaited spasm
an excruciating anticipation
of future, of fear
of the letting go.
I am in the neck
much like other
pinches of past
and premonition
I will recall
the width and hours
my mark will be left
my skull reshaped
inside & out - reborn
into my next tenure.
Saturday, August 23, 2003
At the Age o' 33
...tiptoes in...
I had this boss - a fairly good-looking 50-something gentleman... balding, wrinkles, normal wear-n-tear.
He went on a two month "vacation".
He returned with a blondish-orange crew-cut rug. He returned with raised cheek bones, a slightly hooked aquiline nose, a be-dimpled chin. And he returned with eyebrows raised to the heavens. Some kind of tattoing process?
He never mentioned it. He acted like we couldn't tell and as if he'd always looked this way.
To me, he had lost his character. And - it actually felt like a bit of his soul, too. He was obviously concious of his changes, but really carried on as if this was the set of features he'd been born with.
So I always wonder... at the age o' 33... what would I do? What will I feel about myself as I age? Will it be easier than it seems or harder than it ought to be?
And at most given moments, I just try to go with the flow, take care of myself: exercise, eat, sleep, learn, and laugh as hard as I can everytime the opportunity presents itself.
I had this boss - a fairly good-looking 50-something gentleman... balding, wrinkles, normal wear-n-tear.
He went on a two month "vacation".
He returned with a blondish-orange crew-cut rug. He returned with raised cheek bones, a slightly hooked aquiline nose, a be-dimpled chin. And he returned with eyebrows raised to the heavens. Some kind of tattoing process?
He never mentioned it. He acted like we couldn't tell and as if he'd always looked this way.
To me, he had lost his character. And - it actually felt like a bit of his soul, too. He was obviously concious of his changes, but really carried on as if this was the set of features he'd been born with.
So I always wonder... at the age o' 33... what would I do? What will I feel about myself as I age? Will it be easier than it seems or harder than it ought to be?
And at most given moments, I just try to go with the flow, take care of myself: exercise, eat, sleep, learn, and laugh as hard as I can everytime the opportunity presents itself.
Friday, May 09, 2003
Mouse or Elephant?
I read today that "the recipe for a mouse is much the same as the recipe for an elepant."
Yet they differ.
Some in my family speak racism with comfort and ease.
I ask if my discomfort stems from my disagreement with their views or an echoic sympathetic twinge - an acknowledgement that this is the stock I am from; so is racism a part of who I am?
If someone's dander is raised at the lowering of another confederate flag, a flag stitched in haste to represent a potential new nation whose core philosophy was an independent will to preserve its historic industries. At the cost of human life and dignity. This new nation's flag was intended to wave high its own beliefs, its separate strengths and disparate weaknesses. And it's right to dominate the beliefs and strengths of another people.
It is a waste of fabric to continue to sew this flag in this day and age. It is only a "tradition" in its deliberate perpetuation.
And if you're angry that the general public cries, "Take it down and put it away."
Take it down and put it away.
"It's just something else that THEY'VE taken from us."
What is being taken from you? Your heritage? Something to be proud of?
Something I should be proud of?
I love you and admire you. I aspire to be like you.
I am you. Your recipe.
Are we mouse or elephant?
Yet they differ.
Some in my family speak racism with comfort and ease.
I ask if my discomfort stems from my disagreement with their views or an echoic sympathetic twinge - an acknowledgement that this is the stock I am from; so is racism a part of who I am?
If someone's dander is raised at the lowering of another confederate flag, a flag stitched in haste to represent a potential new nation whose core philosophy was an independent will to preserve its historic industries. At the cost of human life and dignity. This new nation's flag was intended to wave high its own beliefs, its separate strengths and disparate weaknesses. And it's right to dominate the beliefs and strengths of another people.
It is a waste of fabric to continue to sew this flag in this day and age. It is only a "tradition" in its deliberate perpetuation.
And if you're angry that the general public cries, "Take it down and put it away."
Take it down and put it away.
"It's just something else that THEY'VE taken from us."
What is being taken from you? Your heritage? Something to be proud of?
Something I should be proud of?
I love you and admire you. I aspire to be like you.
I am you. Your recipe.
Are we mouse or elephant?
Friday, January 31, 2003
Nile '03
Waving at strangers,
which god is at your side
fluorescent minaret?
You are a match struck
beside four-thousand year old
fading pigments.
You are a twist of pale grey
beside a sky of smoke, of history,
of farmers burning fields,
of Cleopatra's cigarettes.
which god is at your side
fluorescent minaret?
You are a match struck
beside four-thousand year old
fading pigments.
You are a twist of pale grey
beside a sky of smoke, of history,
of farmers burning fields,
of Cleopatra's cigarettes.
Luxor '03
What really pisses
god’s fanclub off?
Egyptians.
They beat you to it.
History can brush off the youngsters –
Unitarian, Muslim, Baptist.
But Egypt
wags a stony finger in your face
jabs deep in the Christian heart it’s sting:
You blew it.
god’s fanclub off?
Egyptians.
They beat you to it.
History can brush off the youngsters –
Unitarian, Muslim, Baptist.
But Egypt
wags a stony finger in your face
jabs deep in the Christian heart it’s sting:
You blew it.
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
TETHERS
Six o’clock this morning when
Death caught up with us and decided
the whole world would go untouched
but for you my tawny friend
I think Death was a little spiteful
since we’d snatched seven hours from yesterday
when he arrived where you should have been
to find I’d stolen you away
Unbound you lay by my side at home
my belly against your back
breathing soft, purring low
my fingers across your pain
Six o’clock this morning when
I heard a small chime ring – I woke
in time to watch you steal away again.
Death caught up with us and decided
the whole world would go untouched
but for you my tawny friend
I think Death was a little spiteful
since we’d snatched seven hours from yesterday
when he arrived where you should have been
to find I’d stolen you away
Unbound you lay by my side at home
my belly against your back
breathing soft, purring low
my fingers across your pain
Six o’clock this morning when
I heard a small chime ring – I woke
in time to watch you steal away again.
Rome
I thought you needed my help
waiting for my shining moment
to don armor, to mount steed,
to heroically jump in…
Don’t worry – I’ll let you know when.
I waited a long time to hear you ask
your eyes raised to mine
a brow in curled question
an honest second
of bit of hope
a word:
Help.
Don’t worry – I’ll let you know when.
I’ve worried myself into bitterness:
I wouldn’t spit on you now
if flame burst from your
head and hair.
I might even applaud
and yes, I would stare –
and if ever I could play fiddle,
I would, then and there.
Don’t worry – I’ll let you know when.
waiting for my shining moment
to don armor, to mount steed,
to heroically jump in…
Don’t worry – I’ll let you know when.
I waited a long time to hear you ask
your eyes raised to mine
a brow in curled question
an honest second
of bit of hope
a word:
Help.
Don’t worry – I’ll let you know when.
I’ve worried myself into bitterness:
I wouldn’t spit on you now
if flame burst from your
head and hair.
I might even applaud
and yes, I would stare –
and if ever I could play fiddle,
I would, then and there.
Don’t worry – I’ll let you know when.
It's Not the Wind
New year comes on eight legs
and lifts them to test the air and taste the wintermoth -
but the moth is a sweet moon dancer...
and spider a starving lurker, or worse, a hungry walker.
With dusty fluttering wings in my ears –
no, its not the wind
it’s the foolery of the short-lived
as they make their mark early and quick
flying fiercely at the moon or sun
at dizzy heights to be crisped and ruined –
to land – they come – to ends again –
landing softly in outstretched webs.
I wait safe & sound:
a personal guarantee to live long.
Cocooned in a stringy nest,
ravenous.
and lifts them to test the air and taste the wintermoth -
but the moth is a sweet moon dancer...
and spider a starving lurker, or worse, a hungry walker.
With dusty fluttering wings in my ears –
no, its not the wind
it’s the foolery of the short-lived
as they make their mark early and quick
flying fiercely at the moon or sun
at dizzy heights to be crisped and ruined –
to land – they come – to ends again –
landing softly in outstretched webs.
I wait safe & sound:
a personal guarantee to live long.
Cocooned in a stringy nest,
ravenous.
Saturday, July 13, 2002
Poem: STREETS: BALTIMORE (ef)
She said what I saw –
the streets of Baltimore
sparkle under streetlight
something broken
and rolled into the pavement
sparkles so brilliantly
in the dark
and makes us mind our feet
passing over a field of stars
careful not to tread
on the brighter bits.
Promises lay in layers
obvious welts where
each winter puckers
the lengthy blackness
that scratches itchy chunks
from its twinkling hide
to be filled and patched
by the careful keepers
of promises, of pavement.
She saw what I said –
that something brokensparkles so brilliantly
in the dark.
07.13.02 eaf
Tuesday, January 08, 2002
ADA Ruling
Supreme Court Narrows Reach of Disability Law
I heard this on the radio - and it made me go, "Hmmmmm."
I see three sides on this coin - two as a business and an employer. I have several times been amazed at how 1 individual's needs can bend an entire company. I am not talking sweeping changes that can accomodate many needs (ramps, automatic doors, etc.).
I also know personally friends whose needs have or have not been met by employers and how a change in their lifestyle and a lack of bend on the part of the employer truly CAN effect the person's daily life so the ruling seems to miss that fine point - that state of employment for most of the population goes hand-in-hand with daily life.
...the law only covers impairments that affect a person's daily life and does not apply to conditions that prevent a worker from performing a specific job-related task...
Case-by-case things should still be considered and weighed. I hope this doesn't give businesses the opinion that they don't have to even consider making changes/accomodations because the law says that they aren't required to.
And that works as long as the individual in need understands that an employer can only make so many accomodations to allow them to continue doing their job.
I heard this on the radio - and it made me go, "Hmmmmm."
I see three sides on this coin - two as a business and an employer. I have several times been amazed at how 1 individual's needs can bend an entire company. I am not talking sweeping changes that can accomodate many needs (ramps, automatic doors, etc.).
I also know personally friends whose needs have or have not been met by employers and how a change in their lifestyle and a lack of bend on the part of the employer truly CAN effect the person's daily life so the ruling seems to miss that fine point - that state of employment for most of the population goes hand-in-hand with daily life.
...the law only covers impairments that affect a person's daily life and does not apply to conditions that prevent a worker from performing a specific job-related task...
Case-by-case things should still be considered and weighed. I hope this doesn't give businesses the opinion that they don't have to even consider making changes/accomodations because the law says that they aren't required to.
And that works as long as the individual in need understands that an employer can only make so many accomodations to allow them to continue doing their job.
Monday, December 31, 2001
The High Fey (ef)
In tentacles of shade
hyphae
dark and narrow tunnels
underneath the forest floor
a fairy ring in mushrooms
a web of eyeless parasites
supply a mouth or opening
at the cavern’s edge
a firefly lights a lamp
in meadows to mark
the dancing of fairy-folk
hy·pae·thral
under the open sky
without roof
temple
asexual spores
interested in or engaging in sexual activity to an abnormal extent
blessed with an exquisite gift of touch
like squid in the water
oidium
like the worst writing in the best of ink -
come the elemental basics
into the sylvan soil they deeply sink -
a threadlike part of the vegetative portion of a fungus
to touch infrequent visitors
with a forever leisurely life
and soothing lines of decompose.
hyphae
dark and narrow tunnels
underneath the forest floor
a fairy ring in mushrooms
a web of eyeless parasites
supply a mouth or opening
at the cavern’s edge
a firefly lights a lamp
in meadows to mark
the dancing of fairy-folk
hy·pae·thral
under the open sky
without roof
temple
asexual spores
interested in or engaging in sexual activity to an abnormal extent
blessed with an exquisite gift of touch
like squid in the water
oidium
like the worst writing in the best of ink -
come the elemental basics
into the sylvan soil they deeply sink -
a threadlike part of the vegetative portion of a fungus
to touch infrequent visitors
with a forever leisurely life
and soothing lines of decompose.
If I Didn't Like You (ef)
If I didn't like you,
I'd replace your voice
with the ticking of my watch -
held romantically close
to my ear,
covering the meaningless conversation
on my right
with a metronomic awareness
of wasted time in flight -
a comodity
more romantically precious to me
at moments
than you are, my dear.
I'd replace your voice
with the ticking of my watch -
held romantically close
to my ear,
covering the meaningless conversation
on my right
with a metronomic awareness
of wasted time in flight -
a comodity
more romantically precious to me
at moments
than you are, my dear.
Finders, Keepers (ef)
The safest place in the whole wide world
for something that you’ve wanted to hide:
your mind, floating in its impervious tank,
waiting for your secrets, waiting for your truths.
It’s sleekly coiled barriers, it’s rippled shank are proof
your mind has a pocket for everything it’s told
for safe-keeping, finders, keepers, to have and to hold
no burglary to brace against, no need for wires or defense
No thief has ever returned from the burning darkness.
Go and drop every unbearable memory in its well,
it waits – lips expectantly rolled, wide, down in the mouth
white stones, like teeth, wait for terrible things to happen.
Each one stands straight, each one a sentinel, bright and cold.
for something that you’ve wanted to hide:
your mind, floating in its impervious tank,
waiting for your secrets, waiting for your truths.
It’s sleekly coiled barriers, it’s rippled shank are proof
your mind has a pocket for everything it’s told
for safe-keeping, finders, keepers, to have and to hold
no burglary to brace against, no need for wires or defense
No thief has ever returned from the burning darkness.
Go and drop every unbearable memory in its well,
it waits – lips expectantly rolled, wide, down in the mouth
white stones, like teeth, wait for terrible things to happen.
Each one stands straight, each one a sentinel, bright and cold.
Thursday, August 09, 2001
Ugly Is...
I am working my way up to a simmer...
Why do so many people have an inherent need to destroy and dissemble every view point that is not their own?
I have been a member of a community group for nearly three years that is somewhat grass-roots.
And they have just sent out their latest newsletter with an article lambasting (word?) another local organization for supporting the Boy Scouts - or in actuality, permitting the Scouts to meet.
Supporting the Scouts is discrimination.
Tearing the Scouts out by the root is apparently not.
A witch hunt is a witch hunt. Even if it is a bunch of frustrated members of a minority group performing the task.
Ugly is.
More on this later...
~10:50pm
I'm starting to think more about all of it - and sometimes it makes my head hurt.
1) The operators of the community center make a space available to those who pay for their time - there are rules, I am sure - still, the BSA are welcome, the GLBT (gay-lesbian-bi-trans) group is welcome.
2) The GLBT group I belong to is attacking the community center for making the space available to the BSA. The BSA doesn't protest the GLBT group using the space. The GLBT group is not going to stop using the space and find a new home. They suddenly want the community center to eject the BSA (both have been there for a number of years).
3) The BSA believes a certain thing. The GLBT believes a certain thing. They don't believe the same thing. GLBT is encouraging a public pressure on the community center.
4) Does anybody get to win?
I don't like hate/exclusion/archery or its propagation. I spent my time in the Navy and don't understand the hooplah about Gays in the military. I don't get what the BSA thinks its ban on gays accomplishes. If they're there, they're there. Some of the young scouts are about the age where they will just be coming aware of their sexual yen.
I am just curious what others think, too. My initial reaction to the letter was, "My GLBT group is a bunch of Plugs."
However, what others have said to me today resonates on a different plane than I was thinking on - so I am stepping back and thinking about it...
I guess the pressure thing is what it is - it works, it fails, it frustrates.
~ 08.12.01
I believe in a way I am glad that someone is choosing this battle -
But it took me off guard to find that a group I have identified with very well, and seen eye-to-eye with on so many issues is the group raising the battle cry.
And I find myself suddenly feeling outside the group.
My people. My tribe.
I think that writing this out has helped me see it is that really from which my initial reaction comes.
Why do so many people have an inherent need to destroy and dissemble every view point that is not their own?
I have been a member of a community group for nearly three years that is somewhat grass-roots.
And they have just sent out their latest newsletter with an article lambasting (word?) another local organization for supporting the Boy Scouts - or in actuality, permitting the Scouts to meet.
Supporting the Scouts is discrimination.
Tearing the Scouts out by the root is apparently not.
A witch hunt is a witch hunt. Even if it is a bunch of frustrated members of a minority group performing the task.
Ugly is.
More on this later...
~10:50pm
I'm starting to think more about all of it - and sometimes it makes my head hurt.
1) The operators of the community center make a space available to those who pay for their time - there are rules, I am sure - still, the BSA are welcome, the GLBT (gay-lesbian-bi-trans) group is welcome.
2) The GLBT group I belong to is attacking the community center for making the space available to the BSA. The BSA doesn't protest the GLBT group using the space. The GLBT group is not going to stop using the space and find a new home. They suddenly want the community center to eject the BSA (both have been there for a number of years).
3) The BSA believes a certain thing. The GLBT believes a certain thing. They don't believe the same thing. GLBT is encouraging a public pressure on the community center.
4) Does anybody get to win?
I don't like hate/exclusion/archery or its propagation. I spent my time in the Navy and don't understand the hooplah about Gays in the military. I don't get what the BSA thinks its ban on gays accomplishes. If they're there, they're there. Some of the young scouts are about the age where they will just be coming aware of their sexual yen.
I am just curious what others think, too. My initial reaction to the letter was, "My GLBT group is a bunch of Plugs."
However, what others have said to me today resonates on a different plane than I was thinking on - so I am stepping back and thinking about it...
I guess the pressure thing is what it is - it works, it fails, it frustrates.
~ 08.12.01
I believe in a way I am glad that someone is choosing this battle -
But it took me off guard to find that a group I have identified with very well, and seen eye-to-eye with on so many issues is the group raising the battle cry.
And I find myself suddenly feeling outside the group.
My people. My tribe.
I think that writing this out has helped me see it is that really from which my initial reaction comes.
Friday, July 27, 2001
TMI Filter
A TMI filter is desperately needed in the world:
I work in a company that is all about customers and their personal issues and the things they will confide in over the phone, in their anonymity.
Some of my favorites phone calls:
1) My husband is having an affair and if I don't lose weight he will leave me for good.
2) I like large women, and there are two I am in a relationship with. There is nothing better than being in bed with them together, but I am concerned for their health. What would you consider too large?
3) I have Syndrome X and Disease Y and because of the medication I am on, I can't eat certain foods because they give me the runs. Oh, and sometimes my urine burns.
4) Yes, I am looking to start a diet plan of some kind and, oh, hold on a moment - [person then takes the phone away from their mouth and begins screaming BLOODY murder and all kind of heinous threats and inappropriate things at her child in the other room and then returns, sweet as candy to the phone] - sorry about that, sometimes that kid makes me --- Goddamnit you little bastard!!! *click*
That last call made me wish I could have gotten her address and called the authorities in quickly. I watched the news for her for a few days.
And their are always assorted nose blowings, chunky burps, and toilet flushings that have always made me glad to be on the other end of the phone. Urp, indeed.
I work in a company that is all about customers and their personal issues and the things they will confide in over the phone, in their anonymity.
Some of my favorites phone calls:
1) My husband is having an affair and if I don't lose weight he will leave me for good.
2) I like large women, and there are two I am in a relationship with. There is nothing better than being in bed with them together, but I am concerned for their health. What would you consider too large?
3) I have Syndrome X and Disease Y and because of the medication I am on, I can't eat certain foods because they give me the runs. Oh, and sometimes my urine burns.
4) Yes, I am looking to start a diet plan of some kind and, oh, hold on a moment - [person then takes the phone away from their mouth and begins screaming BLOODY murder and all kind of heinous threats and inappropriate things at her child in the other room and then returns, sweet as candy to the phone] - sorry about that, sometimes that kid makes me --- Goddamnit you little bastard!!! *click*
That last call made me wish I could have gotten her address and called the authorities in quickly. I watched the news for her for a few days.
And their are always assorted nose blowings, chunky burps, and toilet flushings that have always made me glad to be on the other end of the phone. Urp, indeed.
Friday, July 13, 2001
End of Work Day Ramblings.
Just wanted to type some random thoughts... my diary was getting lonely. Feeling neglected.
It's Friday the 13th.
- ooo ooo ooo -
Be very afraid.
I haven't noticed anything too peculiar about today. Traffic was hideous. I drove all over hell and creation with jobs today, returned to the office, and my reminder popped up on my calendar (that I snoozed this morning) - I didn't do the ONE most important thing I was supposed to do on my drive around the Beltway.
duh.
Dinner with friends this evening, and maybe a movie. Nice party to go to tomorrow evening.
The weekend is here.
It's Friday the 13th.
- ooo ooo ooo -
Be very afraid.
I haven't noticed anything too peculiar about today. Traffic was hideous. I drove all over hell and creation with jobs today, returned to the office, and my reminder popped up on my calendar (that I snoozed this morning) - I didn't do the ONE most important thing I was supposed to do on my drive around the Beltway.
duh.
Dinner with friends this evening, and maybe a movie. Nice party to go to tomorrow evening.
The weekend is here.
Thursday, June 07, 2001
Mr. Manners
Rudeness, it's not just directed at ladies anymore. It happens to us little guys, too.
Returning from Key West, in Miami SubSpace Station and Airport, Mr. Ireland and I decided a coffee was needed. I spied a Starbucks and scooted over to join the line. Mr. Ireland tells me what he wants and turns to go sit down.
As I am standing there, tall-white-haired-tweed-coat-corduroy-patches-with-glasses authoritatively takes a haughty stance in FRONT of me, joining the line ahead of me, and making no eye contact with me.
I said, "Excuse me, sir."
No response, no turning, no blinking.
I said, "Excuse me, sir."
No response, no turning, no blinking.
I pick up my carry-on bag, squeeze into the spare inches between him and the person who was in front of me before he came along.
I take my own authoritative, slightly shaking stance facing him, back to the line.
He continues to look up at the menu board, looks down at his watch, yawns, and then walks away from the Starbucks and me, heading off as if to find a faster coffeeplace somewhere else.
Seconds later, he reappears around the corner, money in hand, sees me in line, looks at his watch and goes to sit in a chair at one of the gates, reading a newspaper.
I wanted justice.
But really what peeved me is that he never even acknowledged my award-winning performance as a waiting-in-line-person done wrong.
Is society really growing increasingly selfish and rude, or is it just a coincidence that more and more of these types of things seem to happen everyday?
Conscience: Hey, is that a rhetorical question?
Akethan: Hmmm, you may be on to something.
Returning from Key West, in Miami SubSpace Station and Airport, Mr. Ireland and I decided a coffee was needed. I spied a Starbucks and scooted over to join the line. Mr. Ireland tells me what he wants and turns to go sit down.
As I am standing there, tall-white-haired-tweed-coat-corduroy-patches-with-glasses authoritatively takes a haughty stance in FRONT of me, joining the line ahead of me, and making no eye contact with me.
I said, "Excuse me, sir."
No response, no turning, no blinking.
I said, "Excuse me, sir."
No response, no turning, no blinking.
I pick up my carry-on bag, squeeze into the spare inches between him and the person who was in front of me before he came along.
I take my own authoritative, slightly shaking stance facing him, back to the line.
He continues to look up at the menu board, looks down at his watch, yawns, and then walks away from the Starbucks and me, heading off as if to find a faster coffeeplace somewhere else.
Seconds later, he reappears around the corner, money in hand, sees me in line, looks at his watch and goes to sit in a chair at one of the gates, reading a newspaper.
I wanted justice.
But really what peeved me is that he never even acknowledged my award-winning performance as a waiting-in-line-person done wrong.
Is society really growing increasingly selfish and rude, or is it just a coincidence that more and more of these types of things seem to happen everyday?
Conscience: Hey, is that a rhetorical question?
Akethan: Hmmm, you may be on to something.
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